Leadership and management are a very common theme in today’s world. You can see it everywhere, books, movies, shows, etc. And yet, many managers still get it wrong, not because they don’t intend to be good, but because they rely on outdated tropes or blind spots.

Management today is being taught like a checklist, not a mindset. Most people memorize leadership styles and team structures, but nobody really teaches you how to understand people, how to read the room, motivate people who initially don’t want to work, or handle tension without hiding behind PowerPoint slides and simple jargon taught in school. We’re flooded with theory, models, and guides but very little of that helps once you face an actual person who disagrees with you or a team that’s demotivated. That’s the real management, and it’s the part most schools and companies ignore.

I myself still don’t exactly know how to be a good manager, that is a thing you learn trough life with experience, but you have to start somewhere. Here are a few things I learned from my first year at management university FON

What to do as a manager

1. Lead by actual behaviour, not just pep-talks.
   A good manager doesn’t just say “I trust you”, they give people real autonomy, they set clear expectations, and then they step back. They show through actions that decisions can be made, mistakes are allowed, and can be owned, and growth is expected.

2. Create psychological safety.
   If your team fears shame, blame or retribution, they won’t share bold ideas. A manager should encourage honesty, admit to their own mistakes, and frame failures as learning opportunities.

3. Make connections, not limits.
   Good managers remove obstacles. They make things easier for their teams: linking people, sharing information, aligning goals. They don’t sit at the gate telling people “ask me first.” They make processes easier and faster.

4. Communication is key.
   Too many managers fall into the trap of vague missions and statements or grand goals without execution. A good manager translates vision into doable steps. They check in routinely: “Are we aligned? Do you have what you need?” Instead of focusing on one big goal, it’s easier to divide it into more, but simple smaller goals that are easier to do and obtain. Having more, little goals motivates people more because they feel less distant, the abstract dream is turned into a structured path.

5. Invest in growth.
   A manager should treat development as non-optional. They ask: what does this person want to become? Then they help make a plan, give opportunities, and adjust when things change.

 

What not to do as a manager

1. Don’t confuse authority with direction.
   Just because you hold a title doesn’t mean you know the right path. Management isn’t about commanding tasks like a drill sergeant; it’s about enabling creative, autonomous work.

2. Don’t punish mistakes, obsess over them.
   If your team hides failures, you rob yourself of innovation and learning. Do you respond with “Why did you fail?” or “What did we learn, and what will we change?” The latter creates the feeling of stability and safety within the employees.

3. Don’t be a gatekeeper.
   If every decision has to go through you, you limit speed and initiative. Your job is to distribute power where it belongs, in the hands of people doing the work.

4. Don’t ignore the human side.
   Teams are not machines. If you treat people as replaceable parts, you’ll demotivate them. A good manager knows individual strengths, personal goals, and life contexts.

5. Don’t remain stagnant.
   The world changes fast, new tools, remote work, generational shifts, different expectations. If you cling to “how we’ve always done it,” you’ll lead a team that’s already behind. Good managers adapt and innovate.

 

A lot of “future managers” are being raised to look like managers, confident, well-dressed, full of corporate jargon, but not to think like managers. Real management requires self-awareness, empathy, and curiosity. It’s not about pretending to know everything, but about being the kind of person others want to follow.

Being a good manager isn’t about having a fancy title, throwing motivational quotes, or pushing harder. It’s about doing the work of leadership quietly and consistently: enabling, connecting, supporting, and growing.